Feeling queasy about retirement? Join the crowd. Many of us who’ve worked hard building our careers end up defining who we are by what we do. Sure we have other important parts to our lives but it’s our work that calls the shots, telling us when we can travel for pleasure, play with our kids, do the laundry, shop for clothes (and even what to buy). So the idea of not working full time at our primary career seems like a big step to take. A gigantic step leading us we’re not sure where.
When interviewing women for my book, I spoke to teacher of emotionally disturbed students who loves the fact that she has to be “on” each day. She’s addicted to the action of the classroom. It’s what happens to her during her summer vacation that concerns her. Two loads of wash, a five-mile walk, straightening up the house, and mowing the lawn takes her until eleven o’clock in the morning. After that she’s at a loss about how to find things at home that satisfy her need to accomplish a lot. She sees herself retiring from teaching in five years, but can’t imagine what her life will be like afterward.
Having a work structure and a sense of accomplishment are just two of the many, many intangible things we get from work that keep us going. One woman told me that she wakes up happy each morning knowing she has somewhere to go where she belongs, and blanches at the idea of not having that in her life. Another woman confessed to me that even though she doesn’t socialize evenings and weekends with the people she sees at work each day, she considers them friends and wonders how she will find new friends to replace them if she retires. Still another thinks she will go ballistic if, when she retires, her phone calls are sent to voicemail and not returned the same day.
It’s enough to give us a queasy feeling in our gut.
