Feeling queasy about retirement? Join the crowd. Many of us who’ve worked hard building our careers end up defining who we are by what we do. Sure we have other important parts to our lives but it’s our work that calls the shots, telling us when we can travel for pleasure, play with our kids, do the laundry, shop for clothes (and even what to buy). So the idea of not working full time at our primary career seems like a big step to take. A gigantic step leading us we’re not sure where.
When interviewing women for my book, I spoke to teacher of emotionally disturbed students who loves the fact that she has to be “on” each day. She’s addicted to the action of the classroom. It’s what happens to her during her summer vacation that concerns her. Two loads of wash, a five-mile walk, straightening up the house, and mowing the lawn takes her until eleven o’clock in the morning. After that she’s at a loss about how to find things at home that satisfy her need to accomplish a lot. She sees herself retiring from teaching in five years, but can’t imagine what her life will be like afterward.
Having a work structure and a sense of accomplishment are just two of the many, many intangible things we get from work that keep us going. One woman told me that she wakes up happy each morning knowing she has somewhere to go where she belongs, and blanches at the idea of not having that in her life. Another woman confessed to me that even though she doesn’t socialize evenings and weekends with the people she sees at work each day, she considers them friends and wonders how she will find new friends to replace them if she retires. Still another thinks she will go ballistic if, when she retires, her phone calls are sent to voicemail and not returned the same day.
It’s enough to give us a queasy feeling in our gut.
3 comments:
The fear is real when you leave what you have known and what is comfortable and enter the scary void where there are no rules or structures. But once you get past that fear, so many options emerge. Take time to consider what feels right, don't rush to make decisions. You need time get past the fear of change and discomfort of lack on structure.
I was a 6th grade teacher, in Manhattan, from 1968-2002 and I am now retired. I have traveled, volunteered at a museum, taken classes, and I go to the theater and engage in many activities. I even do stand-up comedy at a NYC club. So, why am I still unhappy after 6 years? Larry David said: "You need a place to go." I just wander from here to there and at the end of the day I never feel that I have been productive. (I ordered your book today from Amazon and Joined The Transition Network)
This is my first time at this site and when I read about the teacher comment on feeling queasy about retirement I felt connected--I could have written that. I have been teaching since 1975 and will turn 55 this year. It's amazing that everyone who is not eligible to retire is saying how they would retire in a heartbeat if eligible. But I love what I do in the classroom. But I am starting to not love the petty stuff outside the classroom. Is it because I am ready to move on? I am so scared to jump ship because I am not sure where I'll land.
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